Well someone encouraged me to write and to invite the world to experience  my innermost thoughts and opinions. Today I am thinking about how much I love walking around Long Beach. Also the joy and pain of home improvement projects. Checking out and Checking in.

I love walking around Long Beach because people are somewhat friendly but very rarely rude. Even though my apartment is tiny…each street I walk on I feel like I can fully inhabit, regardless of how nice I look that day or if I got up early to move my car and I am just wearing sweats.

Since I/we have a tiny apartment, there is not a lot of space to improve but I cannot help but imagine how a curtain rod over the windows, some white paint on the molding, or how a couple of strategically placed bookshelves might just make life more efficient and beautiful. Aren’t we Westerner’s obsessed with efficiency and convenience? I know I sure am. My lovely mate decided to get up early and help me make my improvement dream project come true and bought me some shelving materials from some depot or another.Instead of being overwhelmed with gratitude and joy… I decided I would prefer actually slicing the lumber to my specifications rather than buy some of weird plastic covered particle board you can buy. I think I killed his spirit for the project way early on in this process. Later once we got home he surprised me while I was on my daily walk around Long Beach and started to begin to screw on the slats that the shelf will lay upon. It turns out that the level was not as helpful as we hoped in making the shelf well level… then it was my turn to try from scratch. Now, I am not sure if I really want three shelves and I am not sure… do we work together to decide where to put them (?)or do I just do what I want and suffer the consequences of making an inferior decision on my own, versus torture my lovely mate as I scrutinize every suggestions he makes. I think the perfectionist in my is ruining every decision making process in things large and small in my life.

Maybe I would not be so obsessed with perfection and efficiency if I as a little more checked in with myself and little less checked out. Checking out and checking in. I just want to be more present and intentional. I am tempted to turn off my Netflix subscription and spend more time reading meaningful books, writing, corresponding with friends, self reflecting and walking along the streets of Long Beach. Maybe try and make a new friend or two here in my neighborhood.